Not sure what happened between last week and this week, but I am so not motivated. Last week, I got back from DC, I had this crazy, unexplainable drive to get better at clarinet, and I was even back in the practice room 2 days after the audition. I had a good few days of nice, solid practice. It was great!
This week has been a different story. For some reason, I haven’t been motivated to do anything! I just want to lay around and take a nap. And its not just with practicing clarinet – I’m feeling it in all aspects of my life. I think its the weather and the lack of sunshine/warmness. Or something like that. I tried to practice Monday and Tuesday of this week, but ultimately didn’t enjoy any minute of it, either day. I managed to get in an hour yesterday of reed working, but that was it. Today, I ask myself, why am I stressing about this? I don’t have anything to prepare for, and whatever endurance I maintain/obtain in the next three months is going to go completely out the window in May when I am forced to go without my instrument for two months during boot camp. That is the longest I will have ever gone without playing, EVER! (well besides my pre-clarinet days) The longest so far is just a month during the weeks before and after my wedding.
So my logic is, if I don’t have anything to practice for, why even bother forcing myself to practice when I so clearly do not want to? So this is how its going to be: I’m only going to practice when I feel like it. I have already passed my audition, and I’m sure everyone totally sucks when they get to the music school. What more do I need to do? Right now I need to focus on getting ready for the Navy and boot camp. Oh and I also set a goal of doing a half marathon before I go. Yeah, I’m crazy, but whatever.
Anyway, on that note, I’m going to go be lazy and play video games for the rest of the night. Peace out!